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Tri-County Tribune
Deer Park, Washington
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September 30, 1987     Tri-County Tribune
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September 30, 1987
 

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Page 4 TRI-COUNTY TRIBUNE Wednesday, September 30, 1987 It takes all kinds of people, but... It may just be my imagination, or maybe it's all due to the fact that since I'm now over the mid-century mark, ljut don't remember all that well how things were when I was a youth. Whatever the truth of the matter, it does seem as if there are far more two bit crooks around than there ever were. And it also seems as if there's more weirdos around, too; some of them Just weird and some of them somewhat dangerous. New depths - no pun intended - were reached recently by a California man who, dressed in plastic with surgical gloves, was dragged out from beneath a woman's outhouse at Montana de Ore State Park and am :,ted, Donald H. Baker. San Luis Obispo County officials said, was sitting on crates beneath a woman's outhouse up to his waist in muck, ostensibly in an effort to get his kicks by watching women jo the bathroom. Rangers at the park, after forcibly removing Baker from the outhouse, hosed him off with a garden hose and then turned him over to deputies who arrested him. Can you imagine how that poor deputy driving the squad car felt with Baker smelling up the back seat during the drive to the Jail house? Gas masks will probably take on new meaning in San Luls Obispo County. When last heard of. Baker was whiling away his time in Jail on charges of loitering. You can almost imagine a Jailhouse conversation. "What are you in for?" someone asks Baker. "Loitering," he replies. Topping the story of someone who's weird enough to crawl under an outhouse will be tough, maybe impossible, but there's a lot of other weirdness around, and we're not even talking about the two clowns now doing their best to make Spokane Rape City U.S.A. on the city's northside. Consider for example the saga of singer Michael Jackson. Now nobody's talking about arresting Jackson, but there are some museum people in London who are shaking their heads in disbelief after Jackson made them an offer of several million dollars for the pickled remains of the Elephant Man. The Elephant Man. you may recall, was an unfortunate Englishman who was terribly deformed. His poignant story was made into a movie a few years ago and starred John Hurt in the title role. The gloved one wanted the remains, he said, for his own private collection [which makes you wonder what else he has "collected"]. Baker and Jackson make our local guys a little tame, but I'll always remember the story about the guy who lived north of Spokane who loved to fight fires. This guy, whose name I can't recall, loved to fight fires so much he joined the volunteer fire department. But there weren't enough fires to keep him really happy, so he felt compelled to go around setting them. He torched old buildings, vacant lots, grassy fields. And it kept the fire department busy. Other firemen became suspicious, though. Not only had their fires tripled since the new man Joined the department. but they began to wonder why he was always the first man at the station when the alarm would sound. They'd all show up to fight the fire, and there he would be. sitting in the fire truck ready to go. Other people who do things that are a little strange are often more stupid than weird. One guy a year or two ago decided he'd break a window in the back of a bank branch here, crawl into the bank and burglarize it. He did it in the early morning hours, which brings up the question of just what did he think he could find at the bank at that hour worth stealing? Banks, after all, don't leave cash lying around for someone crawling through windows to make off with. When the alarm went off and sheriffs deputi,:s went to investigate, they didn't have any trouble finding the would- be burglar. There he was, his head poked through the broken window, unable to get in and unable to withdraw his head and get away. It took quite a while for the deputies to extricate the guy so they could put the cuffs on. As long as there are people - and with the arms race there's no assurance that'U be much longer - there's apparently always going to be some strange characters who not only march to a different drummer but play strange tunes, too. But really, doesn't there seem to be more of these jokers than there used to be? Or am I Just showing my age? CONTRA- DICTION Takivg a bite out of bad luc Dear Mr. Ross: I'm writing concerning bad luck I've recently had. We moved to Florida from Pennsylvania because I lost my job. Rather than stay and be on relief, I decided it was best to move. The wages are lower but it's work. I have worked all my life since 16 and detest people who live off the welfare system. I make $5 an hour and have a wife and three children. My prob- lem is I lost my false teeth one day while swimming in the ocean with my kids. Because I work as a guard and meet people everyday, I need my upper plate. I've called various places and the minimum for a new plate is $350. Considering we live on $800 a month, in order for me to afford this I'd be taking away some basic need of my family. My family sticks by me through thick and thin. I couldn't possibly take away from that which they need. Mr. R.M. -- West Palm Beach, Fla. Dear Mr. M.: Now that's what I call ill-fate ... losing your dentures in the ocean, l wonder if somewhere in the Atlantic there's a fish who's given new meaning to "the fish are biting." Consider your bad luck turned good- ...my check is on the way. Dear Mr. Ross: I'm not trying to be nasty, but I sincerely wonder If you have something against women on wel- fare? I, myself, have written repeatedly when my children needed shoes. One time I needed your help at Christmas and received no assis- tance or reply. My two sons' gifts turned out to be so insignificant, can't remember what I got them. In addition to weffare, I work day and night babysitting. I have LETTERS Senate panel slmuld be 00esfi00ned Editor. The Tribune: What a mess the Bork hearing has turned out to be. First, we started with a ehatrman who's Intellectual honesty is seriously flawed; who at one point on a President Jimmy Carter nominee to the Circuit Court took the position that a presidential nominee should be approved unless he is morally incapable or unqualified, or that he has committed crimes of moral Turn to Page 5 Thanks .a Million BY PERCY ROSS three kids in the morning and afternoon and then, three more until midnight. I never get much sleep, as I have to get up by 6:30 a.m. to start it all over again. My children's father pays no SUpport -- hasn't for five years. They claim they can't find him. I'm not asking for anything now -- just a reply from you. Ms. L.S. -- Fort Wayne, Ind. Dear Ms. S.: I have no prejudice against mothers on welfare...in fact, I can't begin to count the numbers of whom I've helped. However, being only one person, I couldn't begin to help them all. 1 also can't begin to apologize for not being there for you...any more than I can take credit for the lives I've touched with a helping hand. When all is said and done...sometimes the most deserving slip through my reach. Dear Mr. Ross: There's a nice old lady who lives on our block. We'd be awfully happy if you'd donate $50 so her house could get a coat of paint. We, the undersigned four high school boys, will paint her house on a weekend. We love this old lady and know it would make her very happy. Brian, Noel, Jamie & Mario -- New York, N.Y. Dear Boys: What a great group of guys! I certaiy couldn't brush off your request. Your $50 is on the way 'along with another $25 for refreshments on your breaks. And a word of advice...use some common sense and stay away from wild colors such as fuchsia and chartruse. Dear Mr. Ross: When it's all said and done, I bet you'll bum out when you can't take your dollars with you on judgment day. O. J.  Salinas, Calif. Dear Mr. J.: I couldn't give a hoot about taking any money with me..Tm just trying to make it last, as long as I do. You may write to Percy Ross (Name of This Newspaper), P.O. Box 35000, Minneapolis, Minn. 55435. Include a telephone number if you wish. All letters sent to Mr. Ross are read. Only a few are answered in this column, although others may be acknowledged privately. TRI-COUNTY TRIBUNE Deer Park Office: W. 114 First St., P.O. Box 400, Deer Park, WA 99006 276-5043 Published Every Wednesday News deadline: Noon Friday preceding publication date. Advertising deadline: Noon Friday preceding publication date. Entered as second class matter June 12, 1906 at the Post Office at Deer Park, Washington 99006, under the act of March 3,1897. Entered as third-class matter at Deer Park Post Of- ." ,ws,,, rice, 6,600 copies distributed free weekly serving Deer .,r Park, Chattaroy, Clayton, Elk, Springdale and Loon Lake. MEMBER WASHINGTON NEWSPAPER PUBLISHERS ASSOC. ...... and NATIONAL NEWSPAPER ASSOC. SUBSCRIPTION RATES: (Payable in advance): Outside free-distribution area in Spokane, Stevens and Pend Oreiile counties: $12.00 per year, $20.00 for two years. Elsewhere in the United States: $15.00 per year, $25.00 for two years. SINGLE COPY PRICE Z5C Peter K. Chapin, Publisher-Editor Thomas Costigan - Staff Writer Sherri M0rtensen - Advertising Gloria G01tiani - Receptlonlst.Boekkeeper Carol Wilde - Graphics, Printing Lynette Alexander - Advertising Jeanette Hedgs0n - Typesetting